Yep…  That’s my blog title, and here goes my blog:

I came to this title after many years of starting various blogs, writing blog posts here and there – the latest being “The Relationship Conversation” (which has a lot of thoughts in it, but zero posts).  Overall, I could not get my head around what the hell I was supposed to be writing about or who I should be writing for.   I originally thought to entitle this blog, “My getting-my-sh*t-together-so-I-can-help-you-get-your-sh*t-together blog, but I decided against that.  Too obvious.  And, besides, everyone else is already doing that.

In my career, I help people explore their thoughts, emotions, motives, and all their other psychological underpinnings in order to help them understand who they are.  They move toward answering the question of “Who Am I,” as well as understanding the statement, “Who I Am.”  (Obviously our present-day recording artists, celebrities, and even Dr. Seuss went through this very process of exploration.)  This experiential, existential question-and-answer session is critical, in my opinion, to helping others find their true identities – their “Real Me.”

As a “hot hook” (online jargon for concisely communicating to others what it is that you do), I am an identity coach.  I help people in the search for their identity, and I’m damn good at it.  This is what I do for others, and it feels unbelievably satisfying, fulfilling, even exhilarating at times, to be able to be present with people going through this process.  It’s kind of like being present at the birth of a baby.  Huge privilege!  My heart is full of warm, beautiful weight writing about this honor of being granted intimacy with others in this way.

But, SO WHAT?  Yay for me!  But, really? Is there something more I should be doing with my work, my business, with myself… with the “Real Me?”  I say YES in answer to those questions, so I am setting out into uncharted territory (for me) to create an online business for myself.  I just don’t know what it’s going to look like yet, or what I’m going to look like in it.

You see, I have a career, but not a business.  I have a career, but it doesn’t matter who I am in it.  I’ve had clients turn to me after months of sessions with me and ask whether or not I have children.  The kicker then is that, because of my psychodynamic leanings, instead of answering them directly with “yes, I have 3 beautiful children,” I direct them to explore what my having children has to do with what is coming up for them in therapy.

You see?  The “Real Me” doesn’t matter at all.  My place in that room is about BEING their reflection: an improved, more enlightened reflection, but a reflection nonetheless.  When I really think about it (and this writing is actually the first time I’ve thought about it this way), I am, in essence, a magical mirror.  I help people see a version of themselves that doesn’t yet exist.  Very cool.  Very cool, indeed…

But, again, the “Real Me” has nothing to do with all that cool work I do with channeling mirrors or seeing someone else’s “Real Me.”

The point I’m trying to get to here – an idea, a possibility that I’m just opening myself up to, despite all my training to the contrary is that: showing other people Who I Am, letting them really experience the “Real Me,” can be part of a process of profound change not only for others, but for me, too.  And maybe THAT can be the business?  Or, as someone corrected one of my “maybe’s” on a Tweet the other day, that can DEFINITELY be the business (although that changes the idea from a question to a statement and adds to my current state of confusion which I now just need to be with and “feel,” but this is for another day…).

The essential question for me remains, however: Can I find the “Real Me” through the pursuit of an online identity?

I am inviting you to join me through this process of building an online business from scratch.  I am committing myself to being as open as I can.  As I have virtually no online presence on any of the social media sites important to online entrepreneurship (onlinepreneurship?), I will show you how I am moving through the conceptualization, development, marketing (writing, tweeting, facebooking, other social media stuff not even in my awareness right now, and implementation).  I will also let you know how I’m coming to the particular decisions on these processes, and what may be informing these decisions (you’ll find out about lots of my life experiences).  My intention is to let you see into my process experientially (like my friend, Elizabeth Wurtzel’s “Prozac Nation; my present online guru, Alexis Neely’s video blogs; or even Julie’s “Julie & Julia” cooking blog).  My plan is to stick with this process until I get to that place that people say you will “know” when you get there.  I plan on getting there THROUGH exploring, challenging, questioning, experiencing, and becoming the REAL ME… the ME who makes a difference in the work…

I don’t know where all this will wind up, and I’m so looking forward to this journey…

Moving toward Day 2…